If you've ever turned to the Internet to check up on an ex, consider yourself normal.
Six in 10 of the roughly 16,600 respondents to an unscientific survey on USATODAY.com said they had enough curiosity to look him or her up online.
VOTE: Compare your answers on 'normal' behaviors to others'
That's one of several questions The Oprah Winfrey Showasked USA TODAY to put to readers as fodder for today's show on the theme "Are You Normal?" Experts will talk about whether common behaviors — from nose-picking to lying about our weight to spouses watching "too much" football on TV — are really "normal."
Most quiz respondents on USATODAY.com consider themselves normal: 75% of about 21,000 voters say they do.
But 92% of nearly 17,700 respondents say it is not normal if your spouse has never seen you naked.
That's "not even close" to normal, says Stephan Poulter, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles who specializes in relationships. Such cases suggest "real issues of blocked intimacy," he says.
As for looking up your ex online, from a counseling point of view, it might just be natural curiosity — but it could also be a sign "that you still haven't resolved what the relationship was, wasn't or you wish it was," says Poulter, author of Your Ex-Factor: Overcome Heartbreak and Build a Better Life.
"You have to ask yourself, 'Are there still issues there?' "
When married folks were asked whether they're still in love with an ex-, 67% of the 14,480 who answered that question said they were not — but 19% said they were, and an additional 14% responded "maybe."
Moving on emotionally often requires serious work, Poulter says.
Signs that you've really shed that old relationship and are ready for a new one? The anger, ill will and need to blame is gone, he says: "If you wish them ill, you still have unfinished stuff, big time."
And don't be surprised if the very next relationship is not a perfect fit, either, Poulter says.
Often, it takes "two or three relationships until we really figure out what we want, just like it takes two or three careers to land where you really want to be. Relationships are not much different."
Six in 10 of the roughly 16,600 respondents to an unscientific survey on USATODAY.com said they had enough curiosity to look him or her up online.
VOTE: Compare your answers on 'normal' behaviors to others'
That's one of several questions The Oprah Winfrey Showasked USA TODAY to put to readers as fodder for today's show on the theme "Are You Normal?" Experts will talk about whether common behaviors — from nose-picking to lying about our weight to spouses watching "too much" football on TV — are really "normal."
Most quiz respondents on USATODAY.com consider themselves normal: 75% of about 21,000 voters say they do.
But 92% of nearly 17,700 respondents say it is not normal if your spouse has never seen you naked.
That's "not even close" to normal, says Stephan Poulter, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles who specializes in relationships. Such cases suggest "real issues of blocked intimacy," he says.
As for looking up your ex online, from a counseling point of view, it might just be natural curiosity — but it could also be a sign "that you still haven't resolved what the relationship was, wasn't or you wish it was," says Poulter, author of Your Ex-Factor: Overcome Heartbreak and Build a Better Life.
"You have to ask yourself, 'Are there still issues there?' "
When married folks were asked whether they're still in love with an ex-, 67% of the 14,480 who answered that question said they were not — but 19% said they were, and an additional 14% responded "maybe."
Moving on emotionally often requires serious work, Poulter says.
Signs that you've really shed that old relationship and are ready for a new one? The anger, ill will and need to blame is gone, he says: "If you wish them ill, you still have unfinished stuff, big time."
And don't be surprised if the very next relationship is not a perfect fit, either, Poulter says.
Often, it takes "two or three relationships until we really figure out what we want, just like it takes two or three careers to land where you really want to be. Relationships are not much different."
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